Several years ago, while attending a communications course, I experienced a most unusual process. The instructor asked us to list anything in our past that we felt ashamed of, guilty about, regretted, or incomplete about. The next week he invited participants to read their lists aloud. This seemed like a very private process, but there were always some brave souls in the crowd who would volunteer. As people read their lists, mine grew longer. After three weeks, I had 101 items on my list. The instructor then suggested that we find ways to make amends, apologize to people, or take some action to right any wrongdoing. I was seriously wondering how this could ever improve my communication.
The next week, the man next to me raised his hand and volunteered his story:
“While making my list, I remembered an incident from high school. I grew up in a small town in Iowa. There was an officer in town that none of us kids liked. One night, my two friends and I decided to play a trick on Officer Clarke. After drinking a few beers, we found a can of red paint, climbed the tall water tank in the middle of town, and wrote, on the tank, in bright red letters: Officer Clarke is an s.o.b. The next day, the town all saw our glorious sign. Within two hours, Officer Clarke had my two pals and me in his office. My friends confessed and I lied, denying the truth. No one ever found out.
“Nearly 20 years later, Officer Clarke's name appears on my list. I didn't even know if he was still alive. Last weekend, I dialed information in my hometown back in Iowa. Sure enough, there was a Roger Clarke still listed. I dialed his number. After a few rings, I heard: ‘Hello,' I said, ‘Officer Clarke?' Pause. ‘Yes.' ‘Well, this is Jimmy Calkins. And I want you to know that I did it.' Pause. ‘I knew it!' he yelled back. We had a good laugh and a lively discussion. His closing words were: ‘Jimmy, I always felt badly for you because your friends got it off their chest, and I knew you were carrying it around all these years. I want to thank you for calling me...for your sake.'”
Jimmy inspired me to clear up all 101 items on my list. It took me almost two years, but became the springboard and true inspiration for my career as a conflict mediator. No matter how difficult the conflict, crisis or situation, I always remember that it's never too late to clear up the past and begin resolution.
【日积月累】
s.o.b 畜生，狗娘养的(=Son Of a Bitch)
-confess v. 坦白，承认
-springboard n. 跳板
-mediator n. 调停者，中介物，传递者
-resolution n. 决心，正式决定
【参考译文】
永远都不晚
几年以前，我参加了一门交流课程，从而有了一次很不寻常的经历。老师叫我们把过去感到羞耻、愧疚、遗憾或不完美的事情列出来。第二周，他请学员把自己的单子念出来。这似乎是很私人的事，但是里面就是有些勇敢的人自告奋勇。随着一位又一位念出自己的单子，我自己的单子越列越长。三周后，我已经列了101件。然后老师叫我们想办法赔礼道歉，或者采取行动改正原来的过错。我很怀疑这种做法对我的交流有任何提高。
接下来的一周，坐我旁边的那位男士举起了手，说出了他的故事。
“当我在列表的时候，我想起高中时发生的一件事。我在爱荷华州一个小镇长大。镇上有个警官，我们小孩没一个喜欢他。一天晚上，我和我的朋友决定开克拉克警官一个玩笑。几杯啤酒下肚，我们找到一罐红漆，然后爬上位于小镇中心的大水塔，在上面用鲜红的字写道：克拉克警官是个狗娘养的。第二天，全镇的人都看到了我们留下的鲜艳标志。不到两个小时，克拉克警官就把我们几个带到了他的办公室。我的朋友们承认了，但是我撒谎说没这回事。没人发现。
“大约20年后，警官的名字出现在我单子上。我甚至不知道他是否还活着。上周我打电话到远在爱荷华州故乡的咨询台。结果一查还真有个罗杰·克拉克。我拨下他的号码，几声铃声后，我听到：‘喂？'我问，‘是克拉克警官吗？'他沉默片刻后说：‘没错。'‘嗯，我是吉米·卡尔金。我来告诉你那事是我干的。'沉默一会儿之后，他说道：‘我就知道。'我们都笑了起来，还快活地谈了很久。最后他说：“吉米，我一直为你担心，因为你的朋友当时就把这事从心里上卸了下来，而你却一直背负着它。谢谢你为了成为更好的自己而打电话给我。'”
吉米的故事激发我去逐一清空我单子上罗列的101件事，为此我花了将近两年时间，但是它也作为冲突协调器在事业上一直激发我。不管矛盾、危机或局面多么的糟糕，我总是记得：下定决心还自己一个干净的过去，什么时候开始都不晚。
【人生启迪】
对于说谎的人来说，只有“诚实”这一良剂才能让他们恢复脉络通畅。说谎其实是自我折磨的一件事，事后那种内疚和不安将不断困扰你。做一个诚实的人，才能做个心理健康的人。