我最爱的老师 My Favourite Teacher
I like all my teachers. But my favourite teacher is Rita Liu, my English teacher.
Rita is very beautiful. She has a round face, two black eyes, a straight nose, a big mouth and two small ears. She is not tall but her hair is very long. She likes wearing a white dress. She looks like an angel.
Rita works very hard every day. She is strict with us. But she is kind, too. I like her lessons very much because they are very interesting. In class, she is our good teacher. After class, she is our good friend. She likes talking with us. We all like her.
点评
在小作者眼里，教她英语的Rita老师是心目中最好的老师。文中用重笔描述了老师的外貌特征，让人感受到了老师在她心目中天使的形象。作者又描述了Rita老师在工作中的善良与亲切，表达了自己对老师深深的爱。看到这样一个亦师亦友、工作尽心尽职的老师，读者怎能不引起共鸣呢？
重点表达
1．She likes wearing a white dress. 她喜欢穿白裙子。
2．She looks like an angel. 她看上去像一个天使（注意天使的拼写是angel）。
3．She is strict with us. 她对我们很严格。
我最爱的城市 My Favourite City
Shanghai，a beautiful city, is one of the biggest cities in China. It has a long history of about two thousand one hundred years. The population of Shanghai is more than 16 million.
Shanghai is a good place to visit. There are many beautiful parks, museums and temples. The Mother River of Shanghai is the Huangpu River. It divides the whole city into Pudong and Puxi. In Pudong, we can visit the famous Oriental Pearl TV Tower, the Jinmao Tower, and the Shanghai International Conference Center. In Puxi, we can visit the Yu Garden, the Shanghai Museum, the Longhua Pagoda, and the Shanghai Grand Theater.
I like two scenic places very much. One is the Bund. In the evening, there are many beautiful lights shining along the Huangpu River. They are very beautiful and attractive. So, many people like the Bund. The other place is the Yu Garden. We can eat many famous and delicious food here. Nanxiang dumplings are the most delicious food.
In Shanghai, it is hot in summer but it is not very cold in winter. It is noisy and crowded but it is clean. Shanghai will hold the 2010 Expo. I will be waiting for the Expo from now on.
I like Shanghai very much.
点评
在小作者的文章中充满着对这座城市真挚的感情。他不仅介绍了上海这座城市的历史、人口、地区分布，而且浓墨重彩地描述了上海两个最知名的人文景观——外滩和城隍庙。从美丽的外滩夜景到城隍庙让人垂涎欲滴的小笼包，小作者用自己的笔写出了对上海深深的爱。尤其是最后对于2010年上海世博会的期待，让人看见了上海更加美好的未来，使文章主题得以升华。
重点表达
1．Shanghai, a beautiful city, is one of the biggest cities in China. It has a long history of about two thousand one hundred years. The population of Shanghai is more than 16 million. 上海这座美丽的城市是中国最大的城市之一。它拥有2100年的历史，人口高达1600多万。
2．The Mother River of Shanghai is the Huangpu River. It divides the whole city into Pudong and Puxi. 上海的母亲河黄浦江把整座城市分成了浦东、浦西两部分。
3．In the evening there are many beautiful lights shining along the Huangpu River. It is very beautiful and attractive. So, many people like the Bund. 夜晚黄浦江两岸灯火辉映、美丽至极，所以很多人喜欢外滩。
4．It is noisy and crowded but it is clean. 上海虽然热闹拥挤但却很干净。
5．Shanghai will hold the 2010 Expo. 上海将举办2010年世博会。
我最爱的玩具（小白兔） My Favourite Toy Rabbit
I have many toy animals. But among all these toys, I like a small rabbit most. I call her "Kiddy".
Kiddy feels fluffy and soft. Her fur is snowy and white. And she has got two black eyes, a small pink nose, a lovely blue hat and a coat with the same colour.
I am eleven years old now and she has been with me for eleven years, too. Now you know she came to my home when I was born. This is why I like her so much.
Every night, Kiddy sleeps with me. When I go traveling, I take Kiddy with me, too. We have been to many places, such as Suzhou, Hangzhou and even Hainan Island. You can see her in many of my photos.
I love her most and I will love her in the future.
点评
本文小作者情感丰富，英语基本功非常好。全文语句丰富多变，用词考究。她充满感情地将小兔的外貌特征、来历以及与之依偎相伴的浓浓之情，倾泻于笔尖，童趣无限。让人感觉这已经不是一只寻常的玩具兔子，而是与小作者心灵相通的亲密朋友。由此可以给读者一个启示，文章贵在以情动人，华丽的词藻只是点缀，没有情感的文章，就像一潭死水，无法引起读者的共鸣。
重点表达
1．Among all these toys，I like a small rabbit most. 在所有的玩具中我最喜爱的是一只小兔子。
2．She has been with me for eleven years. “她陪伴我已经有11年了。”（本句使用了现在完成时）。
3．She came to my home when I was born. 我一出生她就来我家了。
4．sleep with me 与我睡在一起
5．I love her most and I will love her in the future. 我现在最喜爱她，将来仍然会喜爱她。
我最爱的玩具（玩具汽车） My Favourite Toy Car
Do you know what my favourite toy is? It's a toy car. It was a present from my father when I was five years old. I like it very much and put it on my bookshelf so that I can always see it.
Look at this car. The driver is Mickey Mouse! Now he is a fireman. There is a dog behind him. It's white and small. Its name is Puppy. The car is red. On its right door, there is a fire extinguisher. Now, do you know what kind of car it is? Yes, it's a fire engine. This toy car can run fast. When it is running, you will hear a loud noise "Wa… wa…" I often play with this car after I finish my homework.
It is nice and interesting. I like it very much.
点评
玩具是小朋友们最喜欢的东西，小作者描写他所钟爱的玩具时，那股投入之情溢于言表，我们仿佛亲眼看到了这辆特别的玩具车，并听到了它“呜啊……呜啊……”的声音。小作者在描写时，多处用到疑问句，似乎面对面在和读者进行交流，让人感觉轻松友好。文章语言简洁达意，条理清晰，是小朋友值得学习的佳作。
重点表达
1．I like it very much and I put it on my bookshelf so that I can always see it. 我很喜欢它，并且把它放在我的书架上，这样我就能常常看到它了。
2．a fire extinguisher 灭火器
3．a fire engine 消防车
我最喜欢的动物 My Favourite Animal
There are many animals in the Shanghai Zoo. I like animals, so I always go there at weekends. Among all the animals, I like an eagle best. It's a kind of big bird. It's brown. Its mouth is bend and sharp. This eagle lives in the zoo. It likes to eat meat. It often flies in the sky. But it can not fly very high.
Some eagles do not live in the zoo. They like mice, rabbits, snakes, and birds. Perhaps their food is not very delicious. But they are free to fly high and fast in the sky. I think they must be happier than the eagles in the zoo.
点评
本文的小作者是个充满爱心、热爱动物的孩子，周末的时候作者常常会去上海动物园亲近动物朋友们。在那么多动物里，最吸引他的是一只老鹰。通过观察，文章仔细地描写了老鹰的外形特征和生活习性。作者因为喜欢而用心观察，因为观察而引起思考。面对眼前被困于笼中飞也飞不高的老鹰，他联想到在自然界那些能够展翅高飞的它的同类。对于任何生命来说，生活的安逸都不能填补失去自由的痛苦。这样的结尾引人深思，让人回味无穷。
重点表达
1．It can fly very high. It can also fly very fast. 它不仅能飞得高，还能飞得快。
2．Perhaps their food is not very delicious. 可能它们的食物不是那么美味可口。
3．But they are free. 但他们是自由的。
4．I think they must be happier than eagles in the zoo. 它们一定比在动物园里的那些（老鹰）要快乐。