菲利普·D. 斯坦霍普(Philip D. Stanhope)
Women have, in general, but one object, which is their beauty; upon which scarce any flattery is too gross for them to follow. Nature has hardly formed a woman ugly enough to be insensible to flattery upon her person; if her face is so shocking that she must, in some degree, be conscious of it, her figure and air, she trusts, make ample amends for it. If her figure is deformed, her face, she thinks, counterbalances it. If they are both bad, she comforts herself that she has graces, a certain manner, a je ne sais quoi still more engaging than beauty. This truth is evident from the studied and elaborate dress of the ugliest woman in the world. An undoubted, uncontested, conscious beauty is, of all women, the least sensible of flattery upon that head; she knows it is her due, and is therefore obliged to nobody for giving it her.
Do not mistake me, and think that I mean to recommend to you abject and criminal flattery : no; flatter nobody's vices or crimes: on the contrary, abhor and discourage them. But there is no living in the world without a complaisant indulgence for people's weaknesses, and innocent, though ridiculous vanities. If a man has a mind to be thought wiser, and a woman handsomer, than they really are, their error is a comfortable one to themselves, and an innocent one with regard to other people; and I would rather make them my friends by indulging them in it, than my enemies by endeavoring (and that to no purpose) to undeceive them.
- gross [ɡrəʊs] a. 粗鄙的，粗俗的
- shocking [ˈʃɒkɪŋ] a. 糟糕的，丑陋不堪的
a je ne sais quoi ［法语］内在的气质
abject and criminal flattery 卑鄙恶劣的恭维
- indulgence [ɪnˈdʌldʒəns] n. 纵容，迁就
- undeceive [ˌʌndɪˈsiːv] v. 使醒悟，使不受欺骗
一般来说，女人只有一个追求的目标，那就是自身的美；对于她们的美，很少有什么恭维之辞，使她们感到粗俗而难以接受的。大自然的鬼斧神工，造就了女人之美，很少有丑得一无是处，不堪入目，无法恭维的。她可能觉得自己长得其貌不扬，但是她相信自己的体形、气质对此作了补偿。如果身体残疾，她的面孔又会作抵消。就算不幸两者都差，她的优雅举止，优秀气质，使她更可以受人恭维。这个显而易见的事实，从世界上最丑的女人穿上经过潜心设计、精心制作的服装，就能体会到。在所有的女人中，一个公认的、自我感觉貌美绝伦的美女，对于别人的恭维最不以为然；她知道这种恭维她当之无愧，因此就不算别人的小恩惠。
不要误解我，别以为我企图向你推荐卑鄙无耻的恭维；不，不要恭维任何人的劣迹或恶行；恰恰相反，要憎恶劣迹，劝阻恶行。但是如果对人们的缺点、无知，哪怕是荒唐的虚荣，不给予宽容，那么这个世界上就没法生存了。将男人之智、女人之貌拔高于现实，这种误差对其本人是宽慰，对他人也无害。我宁可带偏差宽容他们的虚荣，跟他们结为好友，而不想方设法（这样做也无用）实情相告，跟他们结怨成仇。
菲利普·D. 斯坦霍普(1694—1773)，英国政治家、演说家；除了《教子信札》(Letters to His Son )之外，还出版了若干其他书信散文集。